Chess, Handball, and the Value of Small Achievements
There are many things people do with the intent of proving something to themselves. Achievements give us a sense of meaning, a sense of being grounded when we might feel abstract otherwise. However, when people think only about the achievement, and not the process of getting there, they find themselves bogged down by common negative thoughts, like “I’m not good enough”, “I’m an embarrassment” and such. And since these thoughts reduce productivity, it’s clear that one must address them somehow.
With that being said, I have discovered two activities that connect me to my personal sense of achievement, those being chess and handball. Chess is an intellectual activity, one that demands extreme concentration to be done well, and challenges the ego to consider what is really there before a decision is made. Handball is BOTH a physical and intellectual activity, in that it demands excellent reflexes and a decent brain, both the ability to place shots and the wisdom of where to place them, and it constantly challenges your emotions. These activities are more formative than one might initially think, in that they take a person, any person, and ask them to ‘perform’. There is a genuine meritocracy in these things, as indicated by the people who take chess and handball seriously, and there is truly no room for excuses.
The beauty of these activities is in their ability to put the self under pressure in a controlled environment, and the more time one spends under such pressure, the better they are at handling pressure overall. There is no definite limit to how good one can become at chess or handball, and the process is entirely personal. Sure, it seems that this sort of meritocratic thinking applies to any skill, but the point is in what these skills do for our sense of achievement: by allowing ourselves to engage a task in isolation, without the need to worry about a larger goal, we better our relationship with all the things we do.
I think of a game of chess or handball as a battle against myself, one that I lose if I give in to my negative emotions. While these activities are certainly heavily competitive and domination-based, the act of practicing them without egoic interference changes how we perceive them. There is no opponent, really, as when we make a wrong move in chess, no one has pushed us to choose that move except ourselves. When I have a perfect setup for a kill shot in handball, but rush it and miss, the anger comes in very quickly, but I can also use my will to make it disappear very quickly. I believe that these two activities, which I have arbitrarily chosen to make my point, simply get to the root of the matter and bring out the real self, and that is a beautiful thing. They are ‘no-BS’ activities, in that one must be at their best to be proficient in either one.
Indeed, the ego is always somewhat present in skill-based activities, especially when something is on the line, but I advocate for chess and handball because: 1. They have improved my mental health 2. They have forced me to confront myself 3. I find them really damn fun 4. I have built fantastic friendships through them and 5. They genuinely improve a person over time.
However, these are difficult activities, and I only recommend them because they have improved my life. It’s very possible that you are not good at chess or handball, and don’t want to engage in something that demoralizes you — however, I believe this is the root of the matter, and I only hope you can give them a chance. One’s a mental sport, the other mental and physical, but they both strengthen the person, and constantly challenge me to do better.
Also, I am much better at chess than I am at handball. Though I am generally in the top % category of online chess players, I am quite horrible at handball relative to the other people who play in the Coney Island courts. I’ve hated sports all my life, in fact, but this particular sport has given me purpose. All I can advocate is that you find activities for you, something to help you deal with the world. And don’t let others determine your feelings about such activities, for this is a personal matter that only you can figure out.
Thank you.
