On Appreciating Life More
Life is a complex and well-ordered phenomenon. Though the conditions by which we were born and raised are random, our existence is extremely clear and logical to us. We are what we are, and that is all we’ve got.
I often feel as though we have no choice but to appreciate things. Weighing the good and the bad, one can easily see that, no matter what we choose to interpret about our situation, an optimistic view wins out. It’s not to disregard the struggles any of us go through, but rather to realize that there is always something to be happy about. Even being alive and focused on the good is a beautiful thing, since we are able to share that feeling with many others.
Life is lived in the mind, meaning that it is always dependent on our reactions to stimuli. A lot of it is probably involuntary to some extent, since we cannot control much of what happens to us, but our reactions are certainly in our control. There are not two selves — what we choose to think about, and what we let ourselves react to, should be seen as coming from the same place. I feel that it is usually an egoic thing to say something is unfair, since we are able to appreciate things even while carrying this judgment in our minds. The egoic side of us wants to change external reality to suit our needs, but there is another side of us, the conscience, which would only seek to change itself.
There is, in fact, not much we can change but ourselves.
There is beauty to this life. However, one must be able to see it with their own particular eyes. People are not likely to change, so what good is there in trying to change them? We might as well become the inspiration we seek. Heroism is when a person is faced with hardships and doesn’t become lost in them. After all, the greatest struggle is to find peace in the fact that life is difficult and unpredictable. There may be no other way to deal with this world.
“One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”
There are activities which occupy my time and are absolutely wonderful. Playing and teaching chess offer the means for me to self-actualize mentally; playing handball allows me to feel my body and mind more closely; meanwhile, writing brings whatever I’m thinking out into the world, thus making it real. Any activity which is done purposefully and for its own sake will yield great benefits, especially if we are trying our best.
Whether life gets better or worse, one cannot help but feel foolish when they fixate on what makes them unhappy. I say this because, unfortunately, negative emotions are a painful existential burden to carry, and nothing fundamentally improves from ruminating. It is an unseen battle, and something that, when conquered, is highly worth appreciating. If you have friends who suffer from anxiety or depression, try to listen to them, and offer them a place to belong. People will callously attempt to trivialize those feelings and make them seem like a waste, only because they don’t care enough. This is why I no longer discuss my negative emotions with others, unless I trust them enough to say something heartfelt and compassionate. Any battle I have with my unhappiness is a private battle, and one which I must win.
There is so much to cling onto, but one can imagine what happens if they were to stop clinging — in Buddhism, it is said that desire and attachment are the main sources of unhappiness, and this is an idea I can agree with. The great challenge is that the world of today encourages, even necessitates some clinging, since it constantly wants us to focus on what we have, what we do, what we are striving towards. None of that defines what we really are, so we must be prudent enough to recognize what these messages do to our minds. Clinging onto things, people, status, and so on, we depend on them for happiness; once there is no clinging, happiness appears unconditionally.
I recently started watching a lighthearted anime on Netflix, Komi Can’t Communicate. This anime depicts a very socially anxious girl who, despite her challenges, wishes to make 100 friends. Though she is constantly struggling with her thoughts, she is compassionate to the friends she makes, and makes decisions which ultimately bring her closer to happiness. I am enjoying this show very much, and would recommend it to anyone who is conflicted about their life. For me, this show has offered a window of hope, particularly because the manner in which conflicts are resolved depend on the character’s choices, not just external circumstances.
We’ve reached a time in history when, instead of racing with others, we may just want to slowly improve upon the things we lack. Virtue is a beautiful thing, as is wisdom, and there is nothing stopping us from pursuing them without ego. Nothing is truly certain, so any effort made is good enough. At some point, life has to be appreciated and enjoyed as a Oneness.
Thank you.
