Realizing What We Cannot Change
For the most part, in fact, there is very little we can change. This realization is definitely disempowering at first, but it essentially reminds us that our minds, our emotions, and some of our circumstances are entirely within our control. By going inward and getting mentally stronger, we may finally make peace with the multitude of things we can’t control. Even some of the most frustrating things, like manipulative parents and friends, are simply par for the course in a life that continuously changes and offers new chances.
It can be really difficult to admit that we are not capable of being perfect. If we’ve spent years proving ourselves to ourselves, changes might feel like a threat, a disruption to our method of organizing information. However, I now believe that any idea of systematizing and making sense of changes will lead to unhappiness, especially if we are constantly trying to control them, and unpredictability in life must be appreciated to some extent. This demands some sort of humility with oneself, almost like a spiritual self-acceptance. Any effort we make towards letting go of inevitability helps.
For instance, it is foolish to ruminate on the past, since it has already happened, or worry about the upcoming future, since we can’t prevent it from happening. If some stressful thoughts lead us to the same unhappiness over and over, then we are not letting our situation unfold on its own — instead, we are stuck in the world of our minds again, clinging onto fear and hypotheticals. I speak from the experience of having anxious and slight OCD tendencies, and because of that, I personally have had to reconcile this inevitability of changes. There is no doubt that simply thinking about changes, rather than acting upon them, leads us to darkness.
We often have to deal with people who, in their lack of peace, judge us according to their standards of what’s proper. This is not only frustrating, but it throws changes upon us that we feel unaccountable for, yet have to deal with. People are the greatest changers of all — have a friendship or a relationship, give it a few months or years, and reality will show us everything. There is no harm in letting life reveal itself, and sometimes that means shedding the people of the past. Be strong enough to do so.
Furthermore, some circumstances will definitely throw us off our center, and that’s when we start making serious mistakes. If life is being difficult, the best thing to do is to slow down and take things very gradually, rather than overcommit oneself and get extremely stressed. If we are capable of being relaxed at all times, perhaps it is for the best, because very little can be maintained in an anxious state of mind. Changes will happen, and they will do so unpredictably, no matter whether we’re anxious or calm.
We must remember not to become the changes we see. We have our own agency, our own incontrovertible existence. There is no need to react, to let one’s emotions become the happenings. Otherwise, I fear we will lose sight of what it means to live. It’s beautiful when we can accept changes and be unmoved, since there are so many difficulties in life, and so much that shapes us into who we are, the strong person we have become.
Thank you.
