The Good and the Bad of Being Ourselves
Life is a hell of a lot to get caught up in, if you think about it.
Truth-telling is a fine art, cultivated through years of dealing with different kinds of people — some more wishy washy and slippery than others.
Now, I don’t really like being all poetic and fancy when I can get to the point, and the point is: we are not necessarily good judges of ourselves.
Being able to identify when we’re lying to ourselves, deceiving ourselves, and ultimately, hurting ourselves, is a fine art much like truth-telling.
If you are someone who deceives yourself, imagine what you do to others.
Think about the search for truth, and then imagine that search represented by a line, wherein the end of the line is “Truth” with a capital T.
Now you can understand a linear progression where you may have some conception of truth, but it is merely grasping at straws of the “Truth”.
To get even more personal about it, I am willing to say that I would not put up with a single person in this life, no matter who, if they are BS artists.
I have spent years — many exhausting years — tolerating people who would say things without thinking, do stupid shit for the fun of it, and openly act without a sliver of repentance in their soul. I am not into it anymore.
Now, I would like to make a distinction between telling the truth to be callous and cruel, and telling the truth because it is the right thing to do.
Ultimately, what we say and do represents some extension of our character. If we are cruel in heart, our truth is cruel. If we are angry at the world for having treated us unfairly, we will speak more anger into the world.
Why hurt others for the sole reason that others have hurt us?
Truth is a concept owed to the virtuous. For it seems that a trickster could use the truth as a weapon, whether psychological, rhetorical, and even spiritual, and the truth which is used to inflict harm is not proper.
One who speaks real Truth into the world brings clarity to confusion, peace to disturbance, happiness to sadness, resolution to dissolution.
Surely, in the grandeur of God and his creation, we are part of a world where things are perpetually revealed to us, though only on a basis of our deserving that revelation.
Our self-awareness is not so good. A single day encompasses a vastness of thoughts, feelings, and experiences that we cannot generalize to the next day or the day after that. There is too much flux to measure anything.
Not only this, but being ourselves implies a particularity to our truth, and therefore a deviation from the supposed end point called “Truth”. This subjective self-separation is toxic to those who want the Truth without any room for interpretation, for we must be like scientists when searching for the Truth. If we assume too much, we will surely fall into error and sin.
Indulgence in pleasures, escapism, denial of moral responsibility, laziness, negligence, resentment, and especially pride make up the darkness. In darkness there is only “me” and “my self” and “what I want”. That is childish thinking, and should not be pursued if we are worth our salt.
Anything worth a damn in this life takes self-denial.
Most substantive truths require direct experience, meaningful self-reflection, and a willingness to be challenged by new things. This is not easy for someone who is obsessed with glorifying themselves, hating God and goodness, and constantly moving from one stimuli to the next.
One cannot deceive themselves into a position where there is only good or only bad. We face a world where we constantly change, but virtue, truth, wisdom, peace, compassion, and love do not. If we deviate from those higher expressions, we become embittered and harden our hearts.
One does not doubt these things when they are real.
And just to dig my line in the sand further, because I am feeling brave these days, let me include some compelling Bible verses about truth:
1 John 1:8: “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”
1 John 3:18: “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
John 8:32: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 16:13: “But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.”
John 17:17: “Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.”
As you can see, the book of John is very important for this reason.
My final point:
In self-analysis, there is a lot of pain. In pain, there is a lot to be obtained. We may not enjoy the feeling of being in pain, but we can surely appreciate the benefits of experiencing it. It offers many wonderful lessons.
For if you have not suffered, what life have you managed to live?
There is something worthwhile about suffering for the sake of truth.
You will remember the hero who decided to forsake himself for others.
You will remember the Saint who listened to people when no one else did.
You will remember the people in your life who taught you real things.
You will remember those who truly cared about you.
You will remember God when your heart opens up to Him.
Thank you.
