The Struggle of Being a Person
There is a definite difficulty to being a person.
A person is constructed by the thoughts and circumstances they contend with. There are many challenges to the sanctity of that construction. Nothing can explain away the difficulty of personhood.
First of all, it is difficult to feel like we’re going in the right direction. There is a constant struggle with the feeling that, in fact, our efforts are meaningful and worthwhile in the long term. That difficulty arises because we’re in constant conflict with our sense of personhood, since our reality is often being challenged and our sense of comfort is rarely stable.
Second, there is the constant struggle with our culture. Conforming to the values of the time is like erasing our own — how is that really beneficial? If the culture is not the way we obtain our identity, then it has to be our own search for meaning. We inevitably have to fit into the society somehow, since we may feel disconnected otherwise, but the difficulty of finding our particular sense of self still presides over our lives. In affirming that search for ourselves, there also emerges a struggle to find the kinds of trustworthy friends that may let us be vulnerable and honest. All of this traces back to the particularly wonderful feeling of belonging.
Third, there is a sense that I want to interact with others, but an irrational blanket of anxiety is preventing us all from being friends. It is particularly visible when I’m in Manhattan, the big city — I will see hundreds of rushed, unsmiling, dislocated people, all of whom live in their own mind-bubbles. Maybe this is my fault as well, but I’m distressed when I see such a sea of people, yet no real sense of society. If I had to guess what’s causing this anxiety, I would say it’s preoccupation with our problems. Yet if I forget about my problems for a bit, I can listen to others for many hours.
What is the solution to these problems of personhood? It would seem that we must be brave. I must not give up on what I believe just because it could hurt someone’s feelings. Nor must I be unnecessarily callous to others because of my personal insecurities. We are all struggling, and the need to find ourselves in such a vast, chaotic world is absolutely fundamental. I also think that, no matter what happens to others, we must try our best to be mentally strong, stoically focused on the present. I don’t want to lose my personhood to weakness, as that is the greatest failure I can have.
Thank you.
