Why Do We Suffer?
The first source of wonderment for any person is the discovery that they can control many aspects of themselves. For instance, our actions and reactions, albeit influenced by stress and randomness, should largely be consistent with what we are intending to do — if we are to accept that, then we accept that human beings are conscious, self-aware agents, capable of discerning the difference between a good and bad decision.
It would seem that suffering is often seen as a product of unfortunate circumstances, such as the loss of one’s job, a breakup, or age catching up to us. However, it is more than obvious that these circumstances bring about a negative, usually emotional reaction, which then causes suffering. Therefore, we cannot blame the circumstances themselves, not unless we first address how we are choosing to react. If the reaction to these circumstances is one of coping, escapism, and denial, it is not hard to see how suffering would accompany that particular reaction.
Suffering should be analyzed in two categories.
The first kind is suffering over which we have no control, i.e. irreversible trauma and very bad luck. In cases such as this, one cannot react in an adequately detached way to find meaning in the suffering, and may presume it to be meaningless. I spent years thinking that my past trauma was MY FAULT and that I WAS RESPONSIBLE, but this thinking led me towards resentment. So, I would argue that this type of suffering must serve to build humility, resilience, and a sort of respect for ourselves. Otherwise, we will victimize ourselves and never get out of the self-blaming stage of our particular lives. This is a challenging sort of suffering.
The second kind is suffering over which we do have some control, especially when it comes to the way we participate in our lives. For instance, it’s fair to say that exercise and a healthy diet demand some serious self-discipline, at least if intended to be done right. Nonetheless, it is totally possible. The same can be said for the building up of particular skills, the cultivation of healthy social bonds, and the manner in which we psychologize our lives. Skills enable us to feel worthy and competent in a quite competitive and alienating world; healthy social bonds help us feel loved and meaningful, like we belong somewhere; and of course, the process of narrating our reality in our heads has to be treated with great concern because, truly, everything we manifest comes out of the way we perceive the world from within, especially in the presuppositions we hold to be true. This sort of suffering is only painful if we let it be so.
The person is a mirror, reflecting that which they’re given. There are people who, having had suffering imposed upon them, do not ever fully recover from the process of having their conscience, their spirit, their sense of belief violated. Bad experiences breed cynicism, misanthropy, hatred of that which we call real life. But if we could give those people hope, even a glimmer, maybe they will wish to live again. And then the suffering, rather than being a demonic whip of punishment, would become a heavenly staff of light and hope. And certainly, even those sufferers could have a chance at wonderful, heartening experiences which would restore their humanity and give their life meaning.
The need to understand suffering is an entirely rational one. We cannot live a life without understanding suffering, the cause of suffering, and the way in which we can rid ourselves of suffering. Fortunately, the Buddha Sakyamuni has provided us with the Four Noble Truths of Suffering, as well as the Noble Eightfold Path. By understanding a step-by-step methodology of suffering, we are led to understand what we can do to stop getting hurt. It would seem that all the major spiritual teachings, particularly Buddhism and Zen, focus on ourselves and our minds as the root of suffering.
If we accept the premise “to live is to suffer”, then the logical method of getting to the conclusion “to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering” is by actively looking for meaning, and even creating it. Nietzsche was a hero to me, even though he succumbed to madness, because he never gave up on the strength of the human spirit. People who mistake him for a nihilist seem to misunderstand that he was seeking out a metaphysical answer to the question — “why must we suffer at all?”
Suffering is something that helps us transcend ourselves. If we are not prepared to address this, then we will suffer even more. I don’t see a way out of suffering that doesn’t acknowledge it, accept it, and then work at rectifying its source. Suffering is a serious, starkly human matter, one which concerns people in all sorts of circumstances. If we truly consider what we are doing when we are hurt, we may be able to avert a lot of unnecessary bouts of self-induced suffering. It is when something bothers us and we let it overwhelm us that this problem truly expresses itself. We must understand the bridge between our sane selves and the self we become when we lose our calmness, in order to prevent suffering.
Well, if you ask me, a lot of people don’t want to suffer, so they try their best to escape it. I am not satisfied with this solution to the problem. I believe that we must suffer, especially if we seek to do something fundamentally new and worthwhile. A person must embrace suffering if they are to make any difference whatsoever. This is logical because, if we don’t embrace the suffering we face, we will grow to resent it instead, and resentment breeds a sense of distrust in the meaning one’s life has.
To live is to suffer, and all we can do is suffer beautifully.
Thank you.
